Address shared difficulties — “family conversations” needed by congregants sometimes

by Rev. Bruce Johnson –

As a boy, my father occasionally addressed us children in a serious tone, “Come to the table; we need to have a family conversation.” When I heard those words, I knew that the conversation would be about something I probably would rather avoid talking about.

It can be hard to have a serious conversation, even when we know it is necessary, even when it is in trusted company. Many of us would rather keep our thoughts to ourselves.

Our polarized culture only makes matters worse, leading us to believe that some conversations are too risky.

Many Americans are cynical about the prospects of fruitful dialogue even about matters of importance to us all. Regrettably, too often this pattern of fear and avoidance is also true among Christians. Sometimes the “nicest” church people work overtime to avoid talking about matters that might expose their own mistakes or our shared failures. Most damaging is when Christians deny our sins against God and each other within the church, the family of God.

But Christians should never need to fear talking with each other about shared difficulties.

The apostle Paul counseled the church at Ephesus to “speak the truth in love” so that together believers might “grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knit together…promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.” (Eph. 4:15-16) To address our disagreements truthfully and lovingly is an essential part of what it means to be the church of Jesus Christ and his visible witnesses on earth.

This is not to say that speaking truthfully and lovingly is easy. Some of us are tempted to elevate love over truth, others truth over love. Either way is easy but dangerous, for to drive a wedge between truth and love results only in half-truths and shallow love…

(The Rev. R. Bruce Johnson is the pastor of Urbanna United Methodist Church. Email him at rbrucejohnson2010@gmail.com.)