by Tom Chillemi –
“The strong give up and move on… while the weak give up and stay.” So goes a line in a song by 70s-80s pop duo Daryl Hall and John Oates. The lyric underscores the courage it takes to leave an abusive relationship.
A local victim of domestic violence, speaking anonymously, escaped her situation through the help of the Middlesex County Victim Witness Program and its director, Mary W. Atterholt.
The victim also received assistance from several resources and agreed to tell her story as part of National Crime Victim’s Rights Week, observed during April 24-30.
In a year’s time, she had made many calls for help. Law enforcement reps stepped in when she was beaten so severely by her boyfriend that she ended up at the hospital. She left that hospital bruised with trauma to her windpipe and spine. From that point, her life had only one way to go, and that was up.
Middlesex County Commonwealth’s Attorney Michael Hurd had placed charges against her alleged assailant. As a result of those domestic charges, victim witness director Mary Atterholt contacted the victim — the cycle of violence was about to be stopped.
Atterholt explained the legal process and puts victims in touch with counselors. “They are a support system, a team cheering for you,” said the victim.
The victim would learn that on average it takes an abused woman seven tries to leave a violent relationship. It’s a hard cycle to break, she said.
The victim continued, “We can’t always control what has happened to us, but we can control how we respond to it. We can learn to heal, we can learn to trust our own instincts and depend on our own strength, we can use available resources as a stepping stone to a new and better life. The storms we face don’t last forever, sometimes we just need to find that small opening and take a chance.”
If you are a victim of a crime contact Mary Atterholt at 804-758-4506. No one has to walk this journey alone.
(Mary Atterholt is the director of the Middlesex County Victim Witness Program. Her office is in the Middlesex County Courthouse at 73 Bowden St. in Saluda. Her email address is m.atterholt@co.middlesex.va.us. The domestic violence hotline is 1-800-799-7233.)
