by Mary Wakefield Buxton –
Urbanna, Va. — Tom Hardin retired last month after many years serving Middlesex County as editor of the Southside Sentinel. Over the years he must have corrected thousands of errors and certainly in my column. I hope he will forgive me if I reminisce a little today about my memories working together.
I had already started writing a weekly column (“Journeys”) at the Sentinel when Tom came aboard. When I decided to write Opinion starting in 1988, Tom was the first person to encourage me. It’s scary to write controversial political opinion and I wasn’t sure I could handle the criticism. But I was sassy and full of pluck in those days so it was a case of “damn those torpedoes, full speed ahead.”
At that time I knew of no other Virginia woman columnist that wrote Opinion and signed her name which was an area reserved solely to men. I recall only Joan Beck at the Chicago Tribune and Anna Quindlen at the New York Times whose opinion columns were syndicated in Virginia newspapers. That Tom Hardin had the foresight to encourage a local woman to write Opinion was a boon for advancement of women in Middlesex County. He named my column “One Woman’s Opinion” and advised it would be best not to write on gender and race issues of which advice I ignored.
Some men were shocked (outraged) that a woman would have the audacity to write on controversial issues, not even a native, no less. I remember Tom saying a man was so furious that he banged his fist on his desk. “How dare she write her opinion in our newspaper!” he shouted.
But in 1988 there were even very few men who expressed opinion in the Sentinel. It just wasn’t done. There was almost a sense of fear in the air, as if someone could be fired from a job or be ostracized if he publicly expressed opinion. How times have changed! Nowadays the Sentinel can hardly fit in all the opinion letters they receive each week!
My early opinions instigated flak. Readers suggested I leave town, others thought I should be “fired,” others raved that I was moronic or crazed but… my opinions kept coming.
I recall one writer complained that he had spent 10 hours composing a letter to the editor opposing my opinion. The next week I wrote another column he didn’t like. “I can’t spend 10 hours every week writing letters opposing your views, Mary!” he groused. He finally decided to just tolerate opposing opinion.
Tom probably occasionally suffered over my opinion. Once, furious when a local woman was raped, I advised women to buy a gun, learn how to use it, and, if ever attacked, aim right between the eyes and go “Bang! Bang!” The Sentinel ran my column that week under a note stating opinions expressed in the Sentinel did not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.
Other controversial opinions were columns critical of a Middlesex High School tradition of members of the football team dressing up as “women” as a “comic” means of fundraising and Virginia Military Institute (VMI) for excluding qualified women. I claimed a state supported college ought to be open to all qualified candidates.
Tom always supported freedom of expression in the Sentinel but I do remember he called me to gently say he hoped I could tolerate some all-male institutions (he was a graduate of Hampden-Sydney College).
My favorite memory is a flaming column stating in a free country like America one should be able to burn the American flag in protest. Tom called me to say he could not publish such opinion because he feared serious repercussions. I rewrote that column to take in consideration the many veterans who fought under that flag (including my husband), which made it more palatable.
Tom offered Sentinel readers poetry, publishing the works of great local poets such as Robert Montgomery, Earl Simpson and Don Loop. That was really special. He also spent much time ensuring our students had outstanding sports coverage.
Tom is also a very fine writer. I will never forget his humorous story about how he had to confront a rat found in his home. It was laugh out loud funny. He left us wanting more.
His retirement party last month was canceled over the pandemic. I knew that because of his private nature, he was probably relieved the party had been canceled. A humble man, he never cared about a lot of hullabaloo.
I enjoyed my years working with Tom and, although over the many years I have toned down my views and overly zealous approach to expressing opinion, I have greatly appreciated his loyal support for me — along with everyone’s right of freedom of expression in the Sentinel. He was one great editor and he served our county well. ©2020
